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Talk to your child and really listen to them
This is the key to building understanding and trust in your family. The more you know about your teenager’s life and their concerns; the easier it will be for you to pick up a problem before it gets too big. Get to know all that you can about your children. Showing interest, and being genuine about it, shows them that you love them. If you don’t ask them about their lives and what they do, you may show them that they are not important to you. |
Choose a good time to talk about drugs
Don’t react on the spur of the moment or when you and your teenager are not at your best. If you suspect or find your teenager has been drinking or using other drugs and you are upset, give yourself time to calm down and think through what is happening. Strong reactions due to fear are natural but are not necessarily going to help the situation. There is a very real danger that a big argument may put you in a situation where you say things you don’t mean and may harm your relationship with your child.
Keep informed
This will help you answer questions that your teenager may ask. It will also help you work out your own views about drugs well before you have to discuss the issues with them. Don’t rely on friends or the media to get information, and if you have to use these sources, be critical of what you see, read or hear.
Set a good example
Keep your own use of alcohol, medicines and other drugs within safe and sensible limits. Young people learn most about the world by watching those around them. Overuse of prescription medicines, over-the-counter medications or alcohol sends a very strong message to young people about your attitude towards drugs.
One thing that many teenagers cannot tolerate is hypocrisy. Telling children you have strong anti-drug feelings and then using large amounts of painkillers or drinking to excess does not make sense to young people. Try not to make alcohol an automatic inclusion every time you get together with friends – let your teenagers that it’s possible to have fun without alcohol.
Be honest about drug use
The truth about drug use is scary enough without trying to frighten your child with tales of death and destruction that may not match their own experience. When it comes to issues such as alcohol and other drugs, the one thing that you need to try and maintain is your credibility. A sure-fire way of losing that is by telling tall tales or perpetuating myths about drug use. Stick to the facts, acknowledging why some young people may use alcohol and other drugs, and then challenge this with the negative consequences. A balanced approach is much more effective and realistic.
Keep the lines of communication open at all times
Listen to your child’s ideas and opinions and even though you may not think they are correct; always be willing to ‘be the solution’. If you are convinced that your teenager is causing the problem and you are blaming them for it, realise that the problem probably won’t get any better until you accept that you are making it worse. It may feel good to blame and shut down, but it never improves anything. Loving and accepting your child will make a positive difference.
Negotiate some rules about acceptable behaviour
Think back to when you were a teenager and how you felt about rules. Remember that as your child grows up many rules need to be reviewed regularly and sometimes relaxed bit by bit. Your teenager is on the way to becoming an adult and needs some freedom to gain the experiences that help them cope with the adult world. However, it is also important to remember that teenagers want and need limits and boundaries, so let them know what your expectations are regarding acceptable behaviour.
Be willing to say no to your children
Young people who get everything they want don’t usually turn out to be very happy children. Teenagers learn discipline, self-control and how to delay self-gratification when they are told no by their parents. It may be hard, particularly if you have a number of children and you’ve been through the ‘teen stage’ a number of times before, but saying no, meaning it and carrying it through will help you to have a happy, healthy and cooperative family.
Remember, that of all the drugs your child is most probably going to have a problem with it will most probably be alcohol
While there is a lot of concern about illegal drugs, the most harm and the greatest risk to young people comes from using legal drugs such as tobacco, medicines and of course, alcohol. However, young people want to experiment with new things and test limits, so it is not surprising that some of them may try illegal drugs. Fortunately, out of those who try, few will go on using drugs regularly and only a small number will develop serious problems.
Tell your children that they’re great … at every opportunity
It is very rare that we talk about the great things our young people do. Even though we usually let them know when they are not doing the right thing, it is also very important to let them know how great they are the rest of the time. It is particularly important to tell them this when they’re not at their best. Make it a point to tell them specifically what you think is great about them. This will be more meaningful and effective for them than more generalised praise.
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