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“I always promised myself that I wouldn’t become a mother who spied on her child, but as my daughter got older, circumstances changed and I became worried about her behaviour.
“Jessica is 17 years old, and up until the last couple of months had a great circle of friends that both my husband and I got on with wonderfully well. However, a couple of months ago she seemed to start to lose touch with many of her old group. She became much more secretive about who she was hanging out with, and when we asked her anything about what she was doing and where she was going, it usually ended in a fight. |
“One day when she was at school and I was putting some of her clothes away I went through her things. I hadn’t planned to do it, but I was worried and I needed to find out what she was up to. I had no idea what I was looking for but searched anyway.
“At the bottom of one of her drawers I found a small plastic bag with two small pills in it. Each of the pink pills had a small crescent moon on them. I had no idea what to do and how to ask her about what I had found.”
I WISH I’D KNOWN….
“I wish I’d known not to search through my child’s bedroom for evidence of drug use. The cost of that loss of trust may have been the capacity for my child to trust that I could help them. I know that the best way to help my child in the future is to establish, clear, open, honest and non-judgmental communication. It is important to set clear boundaries and expectations about their behaviour, but to be there to help them as they learn.”
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